Romance Scams: How to Spot Them, Stop Them, and Protect Yourself.

Meet Melissa*. She recently met a successful international surgeon online. Instant spark. They chatted every day. They fell in love.  
 
He told her stories about saving lives in remote locations, shared photos of his luxurious home, and talked about their future together. Then, on a medical mission abroad, he claimed his equipment was seized by local authorities.  

He needed $30,000 to release it. The photos of his "seized equipment" were convincing.    

She sent the money. He disappeared. 
A classic example of a romance scam (aka dating scheme or confidence scheme).

Fraudsters create fake online personas to build relationships with victims, then manipulate them into sending money. Some scammers pose as doctors, military personnel, businesspeople working abroad, even celebrities. All scenarios can feel devastatingly real. 
 

Deceptive Tactics of Romance Scammers and Their Impact 

This particular scammer created an elaborate backstory, complete with edited photos and detailed stories about his medical work. He shared "personal" details about his life, career, and daily activities. 

Melissa isn't alone in being duped. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), over 64,000 people reported romance scams in 2023, with losses totaling $1.1 billion.** 

Romance scams can impact people of all ages, backgrounds, incomes, and education levels. Fraudsters use sophisticated techniques to establish trust and build emotional connections with their victims.  

That's what makes these types of scams particularly insidious—they prey on a fundamental human desire for connection. 
 

Recognizing the Red Flags of Romance Scams

You may think that it's easy to spot a potential romance scam. Truth: it isn't always. Here are some warning signs: 

• Excuses are made to avoid video calls or in-person meetings (some scammers will engage via video, however, so it’s important to stay vigilant and keyed into red flags).
• Profile photos appear overly professional or AI-generated, and their social media activity seems minimal or newly created.
• Strong feelings are expressed quickly, despite never having met in person.
• Stories about wealth are shared, but claims are made that they can't access their money due to various issues.
• There’s pressure to move conversations off dating platforms and into private messaging.
• Money is requested through wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency—methods that are difficult to trace or reverse.

What to Do If You Suspect a Romance Scam

If you spot any of these red flags in online interactions, take these immediate steps: 

• Cut off all communication immediately.
• Never send money, regardless of how urgent or convincing the emergency seems.
• Contact Empower FCU right away if you shared any financial information or sent money.  
• Document all interactions and save messages as evidence. 
• Report the scammer’s profile to the dating platform or social media site.
• Report your experience to law enforcement. 

Remember: a genuine romantic partner will never ask you to send them money or share sensitive financial information. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it probably is. 

Learn more about fraud and how you can protect yourself by visiting our Security & Fraud Center. 

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*Fictional character and relationship, intended for illustrative purposes only. 

**Federal Trade Commission:  https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/blog/2024/02/love-stinks-when-scammer-involved